it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
