Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
