We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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