Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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