Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
