Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
