fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize