is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
