I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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