If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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