summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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