this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
