what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can vaginas get frostbite?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
