my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize