2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
