All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
