even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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