In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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