i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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