Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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