I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
