He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
