i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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