It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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