i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
