Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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