If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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