I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
