READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
