Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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