Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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