It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I supernannyed him into submission
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
