$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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