We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
