i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
