There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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