u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
