WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
