I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
handjob tips. give me some.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
