I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
