WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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