ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
