u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
