My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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