Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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