remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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