I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
a search helicopter?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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