he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
