I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
