In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
