ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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