we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize