my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
