What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
50% drunk capacity currently
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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