last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize