It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
