all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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