Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
