wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
