Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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