we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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