dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
