We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
