is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
