whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
